To me, it still needs to be improved greatly, just seen on flow and gameplay and geometrical aspects.
Like for example, that "tow-bridge" isn't flowing at all and isn't really fulfilling it's task that players are able to get on the higher platforms, since the "curve" in the bridge kills the ability to jump (except for a split second, but you really need to know perfectly when to jump).
Also, using 2 different stairs next to each other isn't a great idea. Keep just 1 pattern instead of 2, else it makes you bump to the 2nd part of the stairs (which is longer in this case).
The placement of the pickups isn't great at all, as there are 4 riflerounds spawning very close next to each other in a certain area. Be sure to observate other maps to get an idea how you should place pickups properly (take maps like douze, ot, complex, metl2, metl3 or metl4).
There aren't any playerstarts at all -,-.
The geometry still could be way better, since like all shapes are very contrasting each other. Try to keep it clean and more round as it is now.
Also, try to package it properly next time (set up as "packages/base/~.ogz" in a zip-file) and use a cleaner screenshot.
